Back to MCA I go

Well, I would like to get right to the point. I am returning to MCA. Children's was great. Everyone was very nice and welcoming and the hospital was amazing. Children's hospitals just rock. I loved the NICU and the babies were so interesting and complex. So why am I going back to MCA? Well, I believe it just isn't the right time. There were also going to be some issues with the schedule that I didn't anticipate. I tend to get ahead of myself and when I get my mind set on something I have to go for it and accomplish it. I realized very quickly that MCA is where I need to be right now. My boys are still very young and need 100% of me. There are just to many demands at home right now to be dealing with the stress of a new job. I know that over time that stress would decrease significantly, but I do think there would always be some stress present just because the acuity of the unit. The babies were definitely interesting and complex. They have a lot of babies that Level III units (like MCA) have had for months and then can't figure out what else to do with them so they send them to Children's. Lots of syndromes, brain injuries, brain tumors, severe BPD, also they admit babies that have already gone home so you get a lot of sepsis, etc.... Also there are cardiac babies awaiting surgery. There are also babies that didn't get the best care at smaller outlying hospitals and Children's is trying to undo the damage. They also had a lot of babies that I was already comfortable caring for because they were similar to what I had cared for at MCA.

I did enjoy it and was doing just fine, but I really felt strongly about needing to return to MCA. Usually my instincts are right. It is still a dream of mine, but I really felt God was telling me "not now." I just need to learn to be content where I am at. I do love MCA and was happy there. I am still doing what I love and can make a difference in the babies at MCA. I am still taking care of sick babies. There are still plans for expansion. Of course they have been talking about that for years, but I heard that it is definitely starting next year which means the NICU will be doubling in size and will mostly be private rooms.

Also, I may look into job sharing with Medical City Children's in their NICU. They have an awesome NICU as well that does everything and they are in the same hospital network so I may be able to pick up shifts over there on occasion during times of high census and that may give me "the fix" I need for variety and more complexity. We'll see.

Also, I think maybe I am going through a mid life crisis :) Seriously, I just turned 40 and my childbearing is done. I kind of have this attitude of "what now." I guess I always feel the need to be working on something, working towards a goal, looking forward to something, etc.... Since 2007 I have given birth 3 times, did an online medical transcription course that took 2 years by the way and I have done nothing with, and started selling Origami Owl lockets. Not sure why I do this. I think for the next few years I need to just chill out and focus on raising my boys, being a good wife and growing spiritually and just be content where I am at.